Scribbles and Updates

Hey all, So I'm still pushing through this chapter. Got fed up and I figured I'd share one of the scenes that got cut since it wasn't getting the urgency across and Judi's voice isn't flowing properly. I've reread this story more times these past few months then I have during the years I've been writing it and it still isn't coming to me. I've written almost 20K and not even half of that is usable. So unamused. I don't think there are any spoilers, it's a bit of backstory and there's some violence.  This was one of multiple openings I had written for this chapter, and was going to be the original opening but I scrapped it about a week or two ago.  Scene below the cut:

Kinda want to bump the previous post down since it continues to bother my soul, lol, and I'm trying to move past that. So, updates. Non-Writing Related Heading into the final stretch for school, found out today I got my internship! *brap brap* here's hoping they hire me afterwards and I don't have to struggle at searching for a job as I usually do. Of course, this means that all of my major projects are coming to a head since the internship starts in April but I'm hoping to figure out a system that will work better than the one I currently have, which hasn't been working out that well when it comes to writing regularly, lol. Um, I've decided to start running since I went from playing some sort of sport all through highschool and elementary school and even the first three/four years of college to doing nothing at all and I'm beginning to feel the effects. had to run five minutes to my bus stop and almost passed out once I got on, lmao, and I intend ...

So I decided to scrap the opening I had for chapter 32 because, yeah, it tells us somethings but not enough to justify the 3k+ words it will take up. I still like it though, I wanted to show how her attitude was affecting her family and the fact that little things were changing even as her parents said they have everything under control.  It contains 'spoilers' for chapter 32 so read at your own risk, nothing too major, just hints at things. Enjoy.

So, this chapter is hell. HELL. I have written over 10 000 words and had to scrap all of it because it was shit. None of the characters sounded like themselves, it felt stiff, it was boring and just ugh. It's one of the most emotional scenes in the story and it's just not coming out properly. I think the problem is that I have nothing to draw from to write it. I mean, I know she feels betrayed and hurt and angry, but how would she react? Once I figure that out I think I can finally get it to actually work and flow like her.  I have managed to rewrite about 3 000 words but a little over 2 000 are most likely going to get scrapped because 1. it still doesn't have the oomph I need and the voice is off and 2.it's backstory that is necessary for the story but not for the readers. So to make up for my lack of presence I'm going to put it up on here. If I don't finish the current chapter by the end of this month I'm aiming to post another one of AJ's POV...