IWOAK Cut Scene

So I decided to scrap the opening I had for chapter 32 because, yeah, it tells us somethings but not enough to justify the 3k+ words it will take up. I still like it though, I wanted to show how her attitude was affecting her family and the fact that little things were changing even as her parents said they have everything under control.

 It contains 'spoilers' for chapter 32 so read at your own risk, nothing too major, just hints at things. Enjoy.

I groaned, pulling my blankets up firmly around my head even as I thrashed around in an attempt to topple the little body currently jumping all over me. Emily fell silently, landing on me before struggling to jump back up.

I tried to go back to sleep but she kept falling on me and I gave up, rolling over onto my back and removing the blankets from over my head.

“What, Emily?” I asked, squinting up at her from swollen, too dry eyes. To be honest, my whole face felt swollen and my head felt stuffy and achy.

She grinned at me and I closed my eyes, not in the mood to deal with her, when something cold and hard hit me in the face. I sputtered, my eyes shooting open as I reached up and wiped the crushed ice off of my face, staring up at her even as her face crunched up in laughter before she jumped off my bed and ran for the day.

I yelped as she used my stomach as a launching pad, landing on the floor in a pile of my clothes from Saturday. I went after her, catching myself before I fell thanks to the blankets wrapped around my legs only to trip on the outfit I had worn on Friday that I had left on a heap in the ground once I had gotten home from the fete.

I jumped back up, my determination to catch, and kill, one Emily Amira Blake doubling as my knee, wrist, and shoulder throbbed.

Emily had run back to just outside my door when I fell, and once she saw I had gotten up she waved, grinning before dashing for the stairs.

I hobbled after her, picking up speed as the pain lessened in my knee and reached for her as she turned sharply and headed for the back door, causing me to hit into the wall, my hands taking the majority of the impact even as my mother popped her head out from the kitchen.

I didn’t wait to see what she had to say, taking note of her amusement even as I pulled open the back door and ran out, intent on grabbing Emily.

I was actually down the back steps and knee deep in soft wetness before it registered what I was standing in and the fact that Emily wasn’t actually in the backyard.

 “It snowed? It snowed!” I turned around to see Emily still on the porch but near the corner so when I had come out originally I hadn’t seen her. I kicked my foot out excitedly, hoping to send a spray at Emily but just succeeded in losing my balance and getting even wetter.

Emily grinned at me, as she bounced excitedly before bending over to scoop up some of the snow that made it onto the patio and throwing it at me.

I moved back instantly although it fell short and wide, landing somewhere to my left before I made a snowball of my own and tossing it at her, hitting the spot where she’d been standing as she skipped backwards.

I didn’t wait for her get more ammo before scooping up an armful of snow wading towards the steps, moving with difficulty thanks to the height of the snow and the fact that my PJS were not handling the wetness well.

I made it up the patio, and cornered Emily, dumping the snow all over her and laughing manically as she covered her head, moving backwards quickly and aiming for the backyard again as she bent down to retaliate, deciding to grab snow off of the banister instead and packing it into a ball.

Spinning around, I took a cowboy stance, legs slightly widened and face set in a scowl as she took her place in front of the sliding glass doors, twisting her face in a grimace in an imitation of me and widening her legs to try and get the stance right.

“One, two, thr-aah!” I yelled as she threw her ball early and I barely managed to dodge, throwing mine in reaction to her actions.

My eyes went wide as my mom slid the backdoor open, my snowball aiming for her chest. She slammed the door shut just in time and the snowball hit it soundlessly, sticking to the glass for a moment before sliding down pathetically.

I bit my lip to keep from smiling as she opened back the door, eyebrows raised warningly before she moved from in front of the open door, clearly indicating that we needed to get inside.

I started for the door only to see Emily still laughing on the porch and I paused just long enough to scoop her up, holding her over my shoulder although part of me was tempted to toss her into the backyard, positive that there was enough snow to cushion her fall and that would make up for my unpleasant wake up.

One look at my mother’s face made it clear that that was not a good idea.

Stepping inside, I put Emily down gently, wincing as I took note that her socks and the bottom of her pants were soaked. It hadn’t occurred to me that she wouldn’t have shoes on, which was dumb since we never wore shoes in the house and her slippers had been destroyed over the summer thanks to a run in with a vacuum.

Trying to straighten my own clothes, I turned to look at my mother who was standing with an armful of towels, giving me a once over that made me pluck at my soaking pajamas sheepishly even as my teeth began to chatter.

Now that was I actually out of the snow, the cold was beginning to hit me and my wet clothes weren’t helping.

My mother started to say something, her mouth moving but she turned her head before I could make out the first word, making sure Emily knew that she was talking to her as well even as she tossed a towel to me.

I bent over, raising a leg so I could dry my feet as my toes were the coldest part on me and a small puddle was beginning to form around me.

Out of nowhere Emily slapped my thigh and I reached over and gave her good poke automatically, getting ready to pinch her when she motioned towards my mom with her chin.

I glanced up, still bend over but this time looking at my mother who was staring, her expression one a mixture of irritation and something else. I raised my eyebrows in questions as she stared at me expectantly.

“Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”

I frowned, feeling like I had missed something when I realised she had asked me a question. I straightened up, tapping my ear as I did so before shaking my head.

“Sorry, I don’t have my hearing aids in, what did you say?”

“I said how many times do I have to tell you guys not to go outside without proper clothes on when it snows? No shoes, you’re in a tank top, really Judi? Are you trying to get sick?”

I blinked, sending Emily a quick look to see if I was reading too much into the head action going on with what she was saying, not sure how to handle the attitude she was portraying as Emily ducked her head shamefaced.

Yeah, it wasn’t that smart to be outside in snow without any winter stuff on, but we hadn’t been out there long enough to feel the cold much less get sick. I didn’t say any of that though, aware that I was pushing my luck enough as it was with the in-school suspension and the fact that I had locked myself in my room all day yesterday, something she did not like.

“I didn’t know,” I began, dropping my voice as she signaled that I was yelling and tried again, except this time quieter.

“I didn’t know it snowed. I got up because Ems dumped crushed ice, well snow, on me and ran so I chased her. Did we have a storm last night? That has to be like, fifty, sixty centimeters if not more. Mother Nature made up for waiting so long,” I said excitedly, wrapping the towel around my waist as I stripped out of my PJ bottoms.

“No, it started snowing yesterday morning almost as soon as the girls left.”

I stared at her in shock, annoyance pricing me as I realized I had missed the first snow fall of the year.

“What? Why did no one call me? First snow, Christmas decorations go up and then we watch Sound of Music. It’s a tradition.”

My mother had been helping Emily of her damp pants, a task made harder by the fact that Emily wanted to do it like I had, with the towel wrapped around her waist the whole time but she stopped moving when I spoke. She stood up slowly, her shoulders rising and falling exaggeratedly before she turned and gave me a look that made me feel like a misbehaving five year old.

“I’m going to assume your voice is that loud because you don’t have your hearing aids in and not because you’re yelling at me, because I know you can’t be yelling at me when you’re the one who locked yourself in your room and wouldn’t let anyone in.”

She had crossed her arms and stared at me and I opened my mouth to apologise but she spoke before I could.

“And we sent Emily up to call you but the third time you took your hearing aids out and when she opened your door you threw Hoggle at her and told her to leave you alone, so we did. Don’t take a tone with me when you didn’t want to be part of it.” She spoke slowly and in an exaggerated fashion that made her tone and feelings on the matter quite clear even though I couldn’t actually hear her face.

I signed a quick apology to my mom, feeling ashamed before turning to look at Emily who was still struggling to get out of her pants. I crouched down and helped her, holding the towel while she wriggled out of the pants. 

“Sorry, Emily. I didn’t mean to be mean to you, I was just having a bad day.”

Her head shot up at my voice and she grinned at me, shrugging as if it hadn’t hurt her feelings.

“It’s okay! But you’ve been having a lot of bad days lately, this whole month you’ve been having bad day attitude. But it’s okay!” She smiled and the guilt in my chest just churned harder.

My interactions with Emily for the past few weeks had either been me telling her to leave me alone or me cuddling with her because I didn’t want to be alone. I was a horrible sister.

“No, it’s not okay and me having a bad day isn’t a good excuse. I’m sorry and to make up for it I’ll do whatever you want today, okay?” I looked her in the eye as I spoke, taking care to try and pitch my voice so that it was at regular levels to avoid making it seem like I was yelling at her.

She nodded slowly. “Can we go sledding?”

“Yeah.” She grinned at me and I grinned back, reaching over to pull her into a hug even as I finally took in the state of her hair. I snuck a glance at the clock in the living room and I had to bite my lip so I didn’t groan. It wasn’t even eight yet. 

“We’ll go in the afternoon though, after daddy wakes up so we can celebrate the first snow fall like a family.  And after we’ve done our hair.” I said, not giving her a choice as I pulled on one of her fuzzy braids. She didn’t seem to mind, nodding happily.

I stood back up, looking at my mom to see if she could wash Emily’s hair while I washed mine only to see that sat some point she had left.

I frowned, looking at Emily and signing a question at her. She pointed in the direction of the kitchen and I frowned even harder.

When I didn’t have my hearing aids in my mom usually made a point of telling me when she was leaving a room if we had been having a conversation since I couldn’t actually hear her leave.

It wasn’t like her to forget. Although to be fair, it had been a while that I had wandered around the house without my hearing aids in.

I started to go after her but changed my mind, instead following Emily upstairs so I could shower while she was taking a bath. I was already half naked, might as well get ready since it wasn’t like my mom was going anywhere.

 With a towel wrapped around my head and my hearing aids securely in place I went back downstairs, making sure Emily was settled with her cartoons before going into the kitchen.

“Mom, do you think you can do my hair before dad gets up? And you think we can get him to put up the Christmas tree while I bring Ems to the park to surprise her?” I asked as I reached around her to snatch a piece of bacon off of a plate by the stove.

“Sorry Judi, I don’t think that’s going to happen today.”

“What’s not happening; you doing my hair or the tree?” I asked around the bite of bacon in my mouth.

She didn’t respond so I poked her before reaching for another piece of bacon.

“Neither, your dad’s not here and I have something I need to handle today,” she said moving around me as she went for something in the kitchen. I frowned and checked the time. It was barely 9:30 in the morning.

“Did he go to pick up maple syrup?” I asked, watching as she poured the pancake batter into the frying pan. My dad couldn’t eat pancakes without real maple syrup while my mother thought it was fine to make it as long as there was something sweet to put on top of it.

 “No, your Aunt Susan and Uncle Gary are helping your daddy with a case and I’m going to be meeting them at the office in a little bit.” She said it too casually and I stopped chewing as the bit of bacon in my mouth turned to dust.

Aunt Susan was my mother’s sister and a family lawyer. Her husband practiced criminal law. My daddy was a litigation lawyer and yeah, I might not grasp the full extent of law I was pretty sure those didn’t mix, and if they did my dad worked in a law firm and could get help from a colleague he actually liked.

There was only one reason I could imagine my father going to my aunt and uncle for help, especially this aunt since she had not been quiet about her disapproval over my parents marriage and their ‘hasty adoption’.

I swallowed hard as I caught her sending me a worried look and I realised I had been silent longer than necessary.

“Um, okay, so um… can you do my hair later tonight then? Maybe before dinner?” I asked forcing myself to eat the rest of the bacon even though it was tasteless to me. We had dinner at six, maybe seven, there was no reason they should be at the office that late on a Sunday.

“Sorry, love. We’re going to your aunt Lily’s after, we could bring something home, although, no. You’ll probably have to order take out.”

My suspicions over why my parents would be meeting up with aunt and uncle solidified and my stomach tightened.

“It’s Hilda isn’t it? She find more ‘proof’?” I asked even though I knew the answer. I had met the answer. Jared, was without a doubt that woman’s ace in the hole and I knew he had no problem stepping forward to stir things up.

“Judi, everything’s fine. You want me to add chocolate chips in your pancakes?” She asked, her voice full of fake cheer.

Clearly she thought I was six instead of sixteen.

“No and Mom, I’m not stupid.”

There was no way dad would ask Aunt Susan for help unless it was an issue he couldn’t take care of himself that dealt with something super delicate that he needed to keep in the family. The last time we pulled out Uncle Gary it was because of Chris.

“Is it Chris?” My heart sped up at that thought, because horrible as it might sound, Chris getting caught in a mess up was a much better option to me than the truth and at least then he’d be getting some help.

“No, why would you think it has anything to do with Chris?” She asked, her voice becoming more natural as she looked at me questioningly. I shook my head, waving away her question as I focused on her answer.

“So if it’s not Chris it is about my adoption. What… what happened?” I asked carefully, not wanting to mention Jared myself but hoping she would tell me.

Instead she turned back to the stove, hurriedly removing the pancakes before sending a smile over my shoulder.

“Part of it is about the adoption, but we have that under control. Hilda and… she doesn’t have a case, alright? She thinks she does but she doesn’t. No judge is going to take away a child who is happy and healthy from two respected members of the community.” Her voice had taken on the same sort of cadence she would use on Emily if she was afraid of something and she was trying to placate her.

I stared, wanting it to be true and sighed, deciding to let it slide.

“Okay so… what are we going to do about my hair?”

My mother’s shoulders relaxed almost imperceptibly at the change in subject.

“You can do it yourself, you’re a big girl.” I glared at the back of her head.

“I have never done my own hair. Ever.”

She sent me an exasperated look even as she shoved the plate of pancakes into my arms.

“That’s not true; you braid it all the time. All you have to do is blow dry it the way you would Emily’s and then flat iron it.”

She knew as well as I did that doing someone else’s hair and my own were two different things, but she just told me to figure it out  as she went to get Emily to wash her hands before we ate breakfast. After she gave me a pointed look to do the same, I did, feeling like the child she was treating me as, trying to stay cheerful as Emily talked about the show she was watching even though what I wanted to do was sulk.

This might sound stupid to everyone else here but I never did my own hair. It was our thing. Saturday or Sunday, depending on previous plans, we’d do each other’s hair. I’d do Emily’s, she’d do mine, and then depending on when we started and what we were doing we’d either mess around with her hair or paint her nails.

This thrown in with the fact that she gave Emily and I the go ahead to set up the decorations by ourselves since we were ‘big girls’ just made me feel as if I was losing something. I mean, it might be stupid traditions but they were our stupid traditions and even though Jared didn’t have me, he was succeeding in taking my parents away and I didn’t like it.

I watched sullenly as she left, taking a deep breath before turning my attention to Emily who was clearly picking up on my weird mood. I had done her hair in silence before putting my own in similar twists to her amusement, but I hadn’t been able to keep up the charade as well as I would’ve liked as I watched my mom bustle about as she got ready to leave.

“We can watch movies today if you’re not feeling well,” she said her shoulders curved into an unfamiliar hunch of disappointment and I shook my head, feeling a punch of guilt even as I made a point to grab her, spinning her around until she was laughing before putting her down. I let myself collapse onto my bottom the same time as she did, letting her lean on me while her giggles subsided.

“Once the room stops moving I need you to put on your snowsuit and I’ll grab mine and the sled and we can begin operation first snow,” I said, deepening my voice and doing a fair imitation of a soldier while she giggled, jumping to her feet only to weave around like a drunk and promptly fall down again.

I laughed at her, moving to pretend to bite her side as she laughed, rolling away from her as she kicked out at me and standing easily, hauling her to her feet once I was sure she would be steady enough.

As Emily ran to put on her snow gear, I stared at the blindingly white snow and made a wish.

In past years snow had always been a sign that things would be fine, good things happened to me when it snowed. It snowed when my adoption went through. It was snowing the first time my parents took me home, six years old and petrified about where I was and wanting to go back to the people who had me before even as I was stunned by how much space my mom had in her apartment for just one person. And the world had been covered in snow the day I learned I was going to be a big sister.

I really, really, needed the tradition to continue this year.

I will say one thing about snow, even if it wasn’t a sign that my problems were going to be fixed, it was one of the best ways I knew to help me forget my problems.

It’s near impossible, at least for me, to worry about boyfriends or brothers when you’re sliding full speed down a hill with a squealing six year old in your lap. Especially if you hit a bump and go flying off.

And when you’re climbing back up the hill, or having an impromptu snow fight with your sister, you’re more worried about the burning in your thighs or snow being shoved down the back of your shirt then adoption papers.