Friday, November 21, 2014

False Starts

I think the hardest part of writing is thinking you have something and then having it fizzle into absolutely nothing.

I've been working on FFYT (may be retitled to No Good Deed) and I'm having the hardest time getting the opening down. I'll write a shit ton of words, get quite far into it and then get stuck and no matter what I do I can't move forward and I realise that I've been going down the wrong way.

With some stories I can just cut a few plot points/chapters and while that can result in my losing over 15,000 words at least I still have a start that'll work for me. Not so with Fall For Your Type. I keep having to take a step back and try and rethink how to work it and it's just, it's really frustrating and blocking me when I try to work on other projects.

I don't know how to get out of this slump. And a large part of me thinks it might be a result of the change in my sleeping patterns -- when I was writing fairly consistently I was in university/highschool so I could stay up and write until five in the morning since I usually got inspired at like eleven at night. Now I'm in bed by ten thirty and just getting up at six to be at work for nine feels like such a hassle.

Writing on the train is hit or miss. It just really sucks. I'm going to change my writing set up up, possible change my room around during the new year when my fam will be willing to help me rearrange everything and see if that'll help put my ass in gear.

How's everything with you guys? Hopefully life is treating you well and whatever you're trying to accomplish is going the way you want it to.

See beneath the cut for a few sample openings for Missy's story. I won't post everything I've written because what's the point but figured I'd share something.

Saturday, July 5, 2014


Hey all,

Just thought I'd do a check in and let you guys know where I stand writing wise since I've been offline for the past few months.

I removed IWOAK from FP last night. I'm getting into the heavier lifting stage of rewriting it and after going over it I just didn't feel comfortable leaving it up. Also, to all the people who reread it, more power to you because that's 200k words of rambling for a lot of it and unnecessary detail.

I'm definitely going to be tightening it up, cutting unnecessary subplots (some I'm actually considering transferring over to FFYT since it'll work in the context of that story a lot better, especially since I'll be aging the characters up by about two years to make it flow better with the pacing).

Fall For Your Type is coming along, I'm on the fence on whether or not I should post some of the rough opening chapters on here if I'm going to try and publish it as part of a series/duology.

This whole thing is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Like, I knew the actual process wasn't easy but still, it feels like an uphill battle.

I think that's about it.

I hope everything is going well in your lives!

Saturday, February 8, 2014


Hey you guys, sorry for being so late with updates!

I hope everything has been going well for you guys and 2014 has been better than 2013!

For me, things are quite a bit different. Work has been hectic, I was moved to another team and now I'm working on three accounts instead of just focusing on one so I had to learn the ropes and then there was a mass firing (I wasn't let go) but we were given additional responsibilities so I've just been focusing on staying on top of everything in my main job.

Writing wise I've been doing a lot of thinking, not just about IWOAK but my other completed stories that I should have rewritten and revised but haven't gotten very far on. It doesn't make sense that I'm having such a hard time to get really into the writing/rewriting of finished stories (WDC, IWOAK) or stories I already have major plot points figured out (FFYT, OMN).

The main issue is the mind set I'm in now versus the mindset I was in when I started. When I started When Doves Cry I was 17, and about 21 for IWOAK. My writing style has changed (for the worse in some cases, but I will fix that once I start writing again) as well as the way I think certain things would go down.

For example, based on how close Judi is to her mom, at sixteen she would've definitely had told her that some strange boy she met at a houseparty was blackmailing her into a relationship. She trusts her mother implicitly and truly believes that she can handle anything thrown at her, the fact that I had her keep it a secret wasn't true to the character I was trying to build.

However 17 year old Judi, starting university younger than all her classmates and already feeling too childish to stick it would try to handle it herself, if only to prove she's not a child and to try and keep her parents from making her move back home.

I get to keep the fact that she's basically a baby but put her in a setting where certain actions and scenerios are more realistic. And I'm finding that AJ is really shining as an 'older character'. He's 19/20 but you can see how the whole situation with his family has hit him a lot harder here then you do in the original.

I just really need to get the voice down. I want the same casual tone but I need it to be a bit more distinctive and for Judi's rambling to show through without it dragging on.

I have the opening done but I'm not feeling it. I'm also rereading the original and making notes from there, subplots I want to keep, cut, or transfer to Missy's story instead and man, kudos to all of the people who reread that book regularly. It is massive.

I mean, it's over 100,000 words and it took me way too many years to write, but I never really took in how big it was until now. I need to take a picture of it all printed out so you can see how huge it is. I'm definitely going to make it tighter and quicker paced in the rewrite, hopefully I'll still be able to set the scene/characters the way I want.

Fall For Your Type is surprisingly going well, Missy and Vince are behaving though I'm going to put it back on hold as it doesn't make sense to write it when IWOAK is going through such major changes.

Read about my thoughts on my WDC progress or lack there of beneath the cut.

**IMPORTANT: If you're reading/rereading IWOAK, get it done before the end of the month. I'll be taking it down sometime during the beginning of May since agents/publishers are not fans of works being up for free and I'm doing my best to take this whole thing seriously. **

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Current Projects - January 2014

So, as part of my goal to stay on track with writing in 2014 I'm going to try and make a post about what I'm working on/thinking about at least once a month because it'll keep me accountable (hopefully) and I think you guys would like to be kept up to date since I know how it feels to be waiting for your fave to let you know what's going on with their writing.

Now, I won't make any promises on what day/week this will be posted (hopefully mid-month) and I'm not sure I'll be as consistent with this as I want or if I'll just go back to the status updates when I have the time but it doesn't hurt to try it out.

Would you guys be interested in my progress 'submission' wise as well? That'll be nearer the middle of the year but I think a goal this year is to really step up on getting my writing out there beyond FP and the like.

So now on to current WIPs and where I stand on them:

Friday, December 20, 2013

Frustration and Musings

Hey guys,

I know I haven't posted in 6 months but I'm honestly fed up with myself and my inability to get past the idea/plotting stage of a story to the actual writing. Even forcing my self isn't working. I tried nano and went absolutely nowhere. I'm talking like 6000 words max.

However, I've joined a couple of those publisher communities (i.e. where you can post your stories online and depending on community feedback they have voting rounds and if you get high enough your story will be looked at by editors of the publication and then the 'winner' or top book of that period will be published.

I'm seriously thinking about  submitting IWOAK to the community and see how it does. Mind you, I might age the characters up a bit, first year uni at the max for Judi and the girls just to make certain aspects of the story more realistic. I'm not sure on that yet, but it's an option, especially since I think there's not  a lot of difference between a First year college/uni student and a highschool student except there's less parental supervision and more sexy times. Except, Judi isn't about that life, so I think it'll be good to contrast her coming into her own sexually with someone who you think would push the issue vs. the 'good' boy she was with who she ended up leaving in the beginning because he didn't respect her boundaries.

I'd also have to show her and AJ more, because during the rereads I didn't find them interacting enough on screen, and while I do want Judi to be a large focus since it's her life, I don't want the fact that only AJ's problematic behaviour to be the majority of what you see of him with her. I want the cute moments as well while still showing that her changing wasn't because she got a man, but because she found herself with people who didn't put her down under the guise of 'helping' her.

Anyway, that was something I was considering but I'll have to get off my ass and actually edit IWOAK instead of stopping halfway though a reread swinging between liking it and bemoaning the fact that I already posted it online without making it tighter/cleaner.

Regardless, it's going to have to be rewritten because once I have FFYT done, I'll want to alter IWOAK so the timelines match better since FFYT is a sort of prequel/sequel and you can see why everything happens the way it does hopefully without being boring.

I don't know, what do you guys think? Should I attempt swoonreads or just sit my ass down and try and get it pubbed the traditional way or even selfpub it at some point? No matter which option I choose however, I'm going to need some betareaders to tell me what they think of the chapters/the story and how it compares to the old version so definitely watch this space because I'll be doing a call out, though knowing me not as soon as I (and you) would like.

So below will be a quick summary of where I stand with my other stuff and then below the cut there's a snippit from a contemporary novel I don't think I've ever shared with you. This was a bit of a brain spew I had so there's a lot of info dumping but I think the kernel of the idea is solid. I haven't figured out the characters fully yet so no guarantees if/when that'll be done and names are fully subject to change.

(I also think I need to write something that doesn't have a female friend being shady. Or even girls being horrible to each other over a man, it fosters the idea of competition for boys affections and I'm not cool with that at all.)

Fall For Your Type
Oh Missy and Vince. I have your drama, I just don't know how to show it. I want to show when they first meet (15/16) and the reason why Missy doesn't trust him, as well as show how he became involved with the Goblins since he doesn't seem like the type.

I don't know if I want to show them meeting for the first time as the first chapter or have something from the now and then show a flashback because what I had original wrote has blocked me on the rest of the story. They feel like two different stories because even though their base motivations are the same (to be independent, to be loved, to be needed) what influences them has changed drastically as well as what they're willing to do to get it.

So they're the same people that we got to see glimpses of through Judi's eyes/memories but at the same time, they're more since they're the stars of this story so they won't be as carefree since you'll be seeing everything, not just parts.

Choices (AJ's POV)
I have a few more drabbles that I need to finish from him and yet I can't find his voice. I want to show his reasoning for leaving her alone so often on her birthday (although I think I'll be rewriting that scene in the second draft, tightening it up and making him stick around more since, as someone pointed out, that's the place where his story was most likely to get exposed, why did he leave her alone so much? I mean, I know why but it's not clear so I need to make it so and more realistic. But I'm just having so much trouble with his voice, he seems too poetic or too bland so that's a  no go. But I'll figure it out.

One More Night
Let me tell you about this piece of argharhgh. I was on a roll with the two prologues, I think they set up the back story quite well without being too much of an info-dump. I have a clear outline of where I want/need the story to go but I can't get the first chapter off of the ground. I've rewritten the opening quite a few times so I think I need to look at the characters and remake them until I have something that will just flow or rewrite the whole plot for the modern day portion until it'll just work for me.

So I think I might do another 'prologue' thing except from his POV showing the aftermath of her death and see if that'll be the jumpstart for the rest of the story. He's sort of very beige to me at the moment, but I think it's because I decided to play it safe for him in modern times and I need to shake it up.

But on the other hand, I really like the main female character. I love the way you see her surviving as a gladiator and then her trying to survive in the modern world but I'm trying to do it without falling into too many tropes/stereotypes. And I want to show the similarities with her 'soul' while showing how different lifestyles shaped her differently, although that compare/contrast will be seen from his POV since he's the only one who remembers her from before. Or at least, that version of her.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Quick Status Update -- snippit

Hey you guys,

I know I've been MIA for quite a while now but I am writing, just slowly.Very slowly.

After I finished IWOAK I sort of got stuck in this weird limbo where I have ideas and I can plot those out but writing the actual words is a bust. I have like six false starts for One More Night (the gladiator-ish story I've posted on here) even though I know the characters and I know how I want them to meet again in our time. I had a quick brain storm with my sister that hopefully we can extend on over the weekend and it'll be the kick I need to get everything working again. 

Then there's the epilogue for IWOAK. Oy. I have that outlined and everything but the words aren't coming at all. I know where I wan the scene to happen, how I want it to happen but it just won't happen. I don't know, rereading the story isn't helping me get back into the flow, it's just making my fingers itch

I'm hoping to at least have that finished sometime this month, it's not something you *have* to read if you like where the story finishes, it's not too far into the future based on where it ends now, but I figured it'll be nice to wrap up a few things a bit cleaner.

Then there's FFYT which is staggering along. I have a bunch of scenes written but I still haven't decided if I'm going to do this like IWOAK where the story is set in the 'present' day with no flashbacks or if it's going to alternate between their current and then when Missy and Vince were young and have you discover their falling out while it happens.

And if I do use flashbacks will it be from their POV or alternate between them and an outsider looking in so you can see what they don't see/remember? I know the flashbacks are in third person but there are all over the place style wise.

But that's probably something I should ramble on about in another post, lol.

And I don't know if I've mentioned this before but unlike previous stories that I have posted on fp I want to have the majority of the first draft written before I start posting it so it'll be a while before it's up there but this way I can do a better job reading it over/cleaning it up before I post it and it'll be more consistent.

Anyway, here's a flashback scene from FFYT that probably isn't going to make it into the actual document since it 1. doesn't flow the way I want it to and 2. it doesn't really add anything to the story other than a glimpse at Missy and her brother through the eyes of someone before Carmen happens.

This snippit is pretty much spoiler free. Enjoy!

Saturday, January 26, 2013

The Boyfriend

So IWOAK is complete and a lot of you are ready to read about Missy and Vince.Those two have history and they both regret the way ish went down between them. I don't have anything I can say without giving away parts of FFYT but I thought it might be nice to give you guys a look at one of the important parts of Missy's life since while she was there for Judi every step of the way, she was still quite secretive.

 In FFYT, and IWOAK, Missy has only one person she considers her boyfriend. Her first in a lot of things and the love of her life even though he died before they had even properly exited the hell that was puberty (and for those thinking you've passed puberty hell at 16 remember all the little things that made you want to freak out and/or felt like your life was ruined. Hormones gallivanting all over the damn place).

I can't go into too much detail about their relationship (again, FFYT should cover that) but physically he was her ideal type.

When Missy was with Fariz (name might change), he looked harmless. He was attractive but more cute then sexy, like the 'bad boy' you get in a boy band, absolutely adorable and 'dangerous' because everyone else is more goofy and cookie cutter. In reality he had a rough life, and in time it would've shown. He was well on his way to becoming a Jared or even a Sean if he and Missy had broken up at some point.

I know I said I don't do character pics and I normally don't since I don't base my characters off of specific people but I do see people who have a certain vibe/feel to them that portrays a character even if physically they don't match up. 

If Missy's boyfriend had lived to see 20, he'd look sortof like this. Not exactly but definitely the vibe: