Progress and revamp

Story Update
IWOAK

I'm over halfway finished with chapter thirty, I hit my stride a few days ago, hit a rough snag transition wise but I'm feeling good about being able to post first week of August.

I'm feeling fairly confident about this opening although I'm worried that what I'm aiming for might not come across as clearly as I want it too but we shall see.

CHOICES
AJ's voice is killing me. I'll probably post some of the rejected material on here since it's not bad, per se, but something about it feels off.


FALL  FOR YOUR TYPE
First chapter has been drafted, plot has been figured out and I have a rough idea for the summary [which I will post on here later]. I'm not going to start typing it out until I'm closer to the end for IWOAK since I don't want to get distracted by the shiny.


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During one of my long absences [one of the six months ones] I got frustrated with my inability to actually write the chapter I was supposed too but I still wanted to do something IWOAK related so I decided to reread the story in an attempt to get back in the  groove.

I almost couldn't get through the first chapter, lol. I know my writing style has changed from then, and it's a lot more solid but oh man. Not to mention I started off with one view of the characters which ended up getting altered later into the story with no rhyme or reason.

So, in an attempt to be productive I ended up trying to fix the first chapter and ended up with a completely different creature. It's not finished and I don't know when I'll get around to giving IWOAK the proper editing and rewriting that it deserves but I figured I could post it on here especially since I've taken so long with chapter 30.

When I do get around to this I want to balance out her personality a bit more, keep her low self-esteem that she had in the beginning but  showcase it in a way that flows smoother with the evolution of who she truly is/can be.

Chapter One

Oh innocent victims of cupid,

Remember this terse little verse:

To let a fool kiss you is stupid,

To let a kiss fool you is worse

E.Y. Harburg

I twisted as Trey nuzzled my neck; his hand rubbing my side in a matter I’m sure he thought was soothing but was really just making me uncomfortable.

Especially since he was slowly but surely aiming for my chest and I had no intention of letting this turn into more than us just watching a movie.

“Trey, stop.  Can you just…” I squirmed again, using my elbows to try and create space even as he leaned onto me more, causing me to lean sideways. The plastic beneath us squeaked as he got my back to press against the couch, the position more than uncomfortable now since I still had my feet on the floor.

“Get off!” I shoved at him with all my might. Not caring when he made a choking sound as my palm connected with his throat and face and he was shoved backwards.

He continued to choke as I straightened myself up, not regretting my decision since he had been forcing the issue but wishing I had aimed at his chest instead of his face while he coughed hoarsely.

“Are you okay?” I tugged at my top lip as I looked at him shoving my other hand into my pocket so they wouldn’t flap around uselessly as I waited for him to get himself together.

When it was clear he wouldn’t be speaking for a while I hurried into his kitchen, grabbing a glass from one of the cupboards and filling it with ice water, downing it myself then refilling it for him.

By the time I came out he was no longer coughing but the look in his eyes had my heart fluttering in my chest and when he stood up, I had to resist the urge to back away from him. Instead I held the cup out to him and began to apologize. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it. Well, okay, I did it, but it wasn’t supposed to be that hard.” He slapped my hand away, causing me to drop the glass as I instinctively cradled my now stinging hand to my chest.

“Trey!”

“You stupid bitch,” he croaked out, his voice a touch huskier than normal even as he took another step toward me.

“I said I was sorry. It was your own fault, let’s just… here, instead of watching the movie how about I just help you with your English assignment like I was supposed too?” I looked around for his books, my hands fluttering in front of me as I spoke and he just glared at me.

I took a few deep breaths even as my shoulders curled instinctively and I hunched as if my attempt at making myself look smaller would make him less mad at me.

At 6’2 he was already taller than me, although not by as much as he would’ve liked, and each time he took a step forward I stepped back, scared despite the fact that we’d been together since grade ten and I knew he wouldn’t hit me.

Then again, I had never hit him first either so who knew how things would turn out.  

“Judith, why are you here?”

“To make sure you don’t fail English so you can stay on the team,” I said automatically, almost tugging my lip off when he glared at me even harder, a muscle in his forehead throbbing.

Normally I would say Trey was attractive. He was tall and even though he was lanky he was muscled with the kind of physique and face that made it clear that even if he never made it into the NBA he would have absolutely no trouble getting girls.

 “That’s really the only reason you came?” He asked, his irritation coming through his tone easily enough. I nodded.

I kept my head bent while he spoke, taking security in the way my hair fell to cover my face and eyes I was looking up at him through my hair. My shoulders shot up to my ears when he reached for my chin and my hands went to his chest automatically when he tugged my face up even though I didn’t actually push him away this time.

“So it has nothing to do with trying to get with me?”

I blinked rapidly, confused by the question. He had asked me over to help him with his English work and even if a large part of me had been hoping he had been doing it out of more than just a respect for my high average, I never would’ve thought he wanted me to make the first move.

“You broke up with me,” I said carefully, not sure what he expected me to say. I might not have the most confidence but I wasn’t, to quote my grandma, beggy. If a man didn’t want me, well, I might cry on my own but I had enough pride to make sure he didn’t see it.

“I know that, because you don’t care! If you would just… Jesus Christ, you’re dumb.” He snarled shoving my chin back a little as he let my chin go.  I stumbled back, glaring at him as I straightened.

“How am I dumb? You’re the one who broke up with me because I wouldn’t fool around with you at that stupid party with all your friends around,” I snapped back, irritated that he was trying to put the blame on me.

He continued to glare at me and his words finally clicked.

“So because I wouldn’t suck your… do that, or make you grope me on your mother’s plastic covered couch, which is just gross by the way, you think I don’t care about you?” I asked incredulously, my annoyance with him overcoming any fear I might have been feeling.

“No. It’s because girls are all over me and you never get mad over it. If I didn’t know better I’d think you weren’t attracted to me.” I rolled my eyes at that, his confidence in his own appeal bothering me even as I understood it.

At our school athletics was everything and he was one of the top players even if he wasn’t the best. You add in his height, the fact that he had a face that made even ‘light skin, right skin’ thinking girls look twice, and the fact that he came from a well to do family and thanks to some strange mix on his mother side his curls were borderline silky he had most girls falling over themselves to be with him.

“I don’t fight. It’s not in my genetic makeup and you’re the one I’m in a relationship with. Was in a relationship with. If you don’t respect our relationship why should I fight someone because of it?” I raised my eyebrows at him and he looked beyond pissed.

 “Get out.”

“Wait, what?” I asked, my mind fumbling with his change in gears. I had been getting ready for us to get into a huge argument, something that would clear the air and put us back on solid ground but him kicking me out, while not knew, wasn’t what I was expecting at the moment.

“Get out. You’re wasting my time. I’m done with you.” I glared at him.

“I’m wasting your time, what?”

“Stop doing that retard shit with your hands and get your shit and go. I’m done.” I curled my hands into fists, flushing with anger and shame as I realised that I had been signing at him.

I didn’t bother to say anything after that jab, instead grabbing my bag on my way out and slammed the front door behind me. I had already reached the bus stop when I remembered that I had absolutely no change on me and I didn’t have any tickets on me or a bus pass since I usually got a ride to and from school.

Rubbing at the tightness in the center of my chest I pulled out my cell phone and dialed my best friend automatically.

“’Lo?”

I tried to say hello back but all I got was a choked up little noise that wasn’t quite a sob but at the same time it wasn’t not a sob.

“Hello? Judi?”

“Hey, Bridge… um… can you come pick me up, please? I’m at Trey’s house. Or, well, the bus stop in front of the park by Trey’s house.” There was silence on the other end then a heavy sigh.

“I take it you screwed up the reconciliation huh?” She didn’t wait for me to answer.

 “Alright, we’re coming.”

“We?” I asked slowly, my stomach sinking as I berated myself for not finding out if she was alone first.

“Yeah, the others are here as well. You can explain everything on the way back and we can see if we can undo your fuck up, be there in twenty.” She didn’t wait for me to say bye and I closed my phone with a grimace.

Hopefully the others just included the Pretties, the main girls in our group of friends. When they heard the full story they would understand that there was no way we could’ve gotten together. Even as I thought it I wished I had just called my mom.

Taking my bag off, I dropped it to the pavement before sitting on it. Closing my eyes I said a quick prayer to whoever might be listening that everything would blow over by the time the weekend was over.

By noon Monday it was clear that no one was listening to anything I had to say, not my friends, not the kids in school and sure as hell no random entity who might make my life a little easier.

Bridget, my ‘best friend’ and keeper of my secrets had let it slip during homeroom that Trey and I had broken, I still wasn’t sure how or why, and now I was dealing with people whispering about me because no one in Grade 11 knew how to mind their own business, even if they didn’t particularly care one way or the other about me or Trey.

Drama was drama and everyone wanted to get involved even if it was only to spread it.

“I don’t know why you’re acting like this. You two had broken up exam time last year right? It’s not new,” she said easily as I followed her to the caf. I looked at the others for help but Julianne was texting someone, Chloe was alternating between watch Bridget blow me off and reading Chloe’s texts and Tiffany, bless her, was staring at me with wide worried eyes.

I looked back down at Bridget and forced myself to speak as calmly and as clearly as possible.

“Yes, but it happened during exam time. People were busy with their own nonsense and senior drama. It was a friendly break up and when we started back school it didn’t matter because of all the other drama. Now, we’re back front row center and I have to deal with people talking about me. I hate when people talk about me,” I told Bridget through gritted teeth even though she already knew this.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair before she finally stopped walking and looked up at me, her pretty brown eyes a mix of irritation and pity.

“You do know that no one is actually surprised you broke up right? The two of you getting together is what had everyone taking about you in the first place. I mean, look at the two of you, you know what I mean.”

I bit back the urge to glower at her, my frustration growing even stronger because I did know. While Trey was the poster boy for the attractive and popular people, even if he was two skinny by half and had an ego so large it made him only cute in my honest opinion, I wasn’t even the girl you put in the background of the photo.

My best friend pointing it out again was too much.