IWOAK 33 Snippit

So I'm about halfway finished 33, I'm aiming to have it finished fairly soon but it's a heavy chapter on all fronts. It's looking like it'll be longer than I intended unless I go off-scene with some things or do flashbacks, and I'm not sure since I feel both AJ and Jared deserve full screen time. We shall see how it works when I finish writing it out.

I wanted to have a teaser or cut scene to post but I couldn't find anything that wasn't spoilerish for later on so I thought I'd give you guys the beginning of the chapter.

End of chapter 32 she confronts her parents about knowing about  Jared and this continues directly from there.
 
Do not click if you want to read it all in one go when I actually post on fp. This is about two and a half pages of what will be [unless I get stuck] in the final draft.

I don’t know how long I stayed like that, but the phone broke the silence and I cringed, keeping my eyes shut as my dad made an irritated noise and my mother told him to just ignore it.

I swallowed, inhaling deeply as I tried to gain control of myself because them knowing about him didn’t mean that anything else he’d said been true. And yet, I couldn’t hear over the pounding of my heart.

I licked my lips quickly, opening my eyes and looking at them, my hands trembling as I decided to just ask them the truth.

“He said you bought me.” The words came out in a rush, much more aggressive than I had intended and I watched as my mother’s face went even paler and my father stood up, his shoulders tense and his jaw clenched.

“Sweetie, we can explain.”

But she didn’t deny it. I hadn’t realised I was holding my breath until it left me painfully and I wrapped my arms around my stomach, hugging myself as I swayed slightly, stepping back when my mother reached for me. I ignored the hurt that crossed over her face, shaking my head as I tried to gather myself.

“You know about him and you didn’t tell me,” I said, disbelief coating every word as my mind jumped back to something that I could handle. At least for now.

“Judith, we thought it would be best if we handled this,” my dad said using his lawyer voice. It was low, calm and steady and left little room for arguing. “We didn’t want you to worry about this.”

I opened my mouth to say, well, I’m not sure what I was going to say because once again the phone went off, startling me and I glared at it.

“Can you?” My mother didn’t bother finishing her question as my father went to answer it, saying a rough hello that made it clear he wasn’t pleased, leaving my mother and I staring at each other.

“Is it true? What he said about you buying me?”

“We can--” I held my hand up, shaking my head.

“No, is it true? Yes or no?” I knew I should try and tone down the attitude but I just wanted her to deny it. A simple no and then she could explain any and everything else.

“Judi, it’s not that simple, things are never that cut and dry.”

I blinked hard.

“Of course they are. You don’t buy children, mom. If he’d been talking about the costs of adoption you would’ve said that but he’s talking about something else right? I can’t believe this.” I was panting, my breaths short as I forced myself to inhale and exhale trying to get air into lungs that felt as if they weren’t working properly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered as I crouched down, my legs trembling slightly as if they wouldn’t be able to hold my weight and yet still unwilling to sit down. I felt sick to my stomach. My mom came beside me, moving until she could cup my face in her hands.

“Judith, we couldn’t. The adoption was in the works and you were finally settling in, you were just a baby.”

“I’m sixteen now, why didn’t you tell me when it came up again?” She smoothed her thumb over my cheekbones even as she shot a glance to where my father was standing arguing with whoever was on the phone while my world fell apart.

“We couldn’t. No, that’s not true. It didn’t feel fair to you. You were coming into your own, you were dealing with all of this drama with Bridget and just, we wanted to protect you. You know how you felt when little Lisa told Emily that Santa Claus wasn’t real? That’s how this was. You were happy and we figured you would be happier if you didn’t know. I’m not saying it right,” she glanced back at my father who had his back turned to us as he spoke in a low tone.

I however, pulled away from her, using the arm of the chair to pull myself back to my feet as I glared down at her.

“I am not a child! How dare you keep this from me?”

My words came out clear and ungarbled, each word concise despite of the fact that I was visibly trembling and my insides felt like there was a miniature world war happening inside of me, my heart beating so fast and hard it hurt.

She stood up so fast it was as if her legs were rubber balls, and she no longer looked apologetic or worried. She just glared back at me, her clear, glass green eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

“In what world are you not a child? I cook your food, I buy your clothes, half the time I do your laundry. I pay your bills, I do your hair” she paused, her words sounding clogged and watery as she tried not to sound as if she was choking back tears, and I smoothed a hand over my currently undone hair “and it’s my job to try and make it better if you’re hurting. And yes, maybe I can’t help with your boyfriend issues, but I’ll be damned if I add to your pain. I had every right! I am your mother and knowing would only hurt you. I was being a good parent!”

“Good parents don’t buy children!” I shot back, my voice loud in the room over powering everything.

My mother recoiled looking as if she’d been slapped and I wanted to take my words back almost before they had tripped off of my tongue. I heard my father telling someone a terse goodbye before coming back fully into the room and into the conversation but the damage was done.

“Good parents? No, Judith. Good parents don’t sell their child. Good parents, don’t let their child get used as a punching bag.”

“Amy,” my dad began soothingly, reaching an arm to put around her shoulder and rub but she brushed him off.

“No! Strangers on the street can give me dirty looks for walking down the street with a black baby, the can drop comments about me being a whore or easy and I don’t care. I do not put up with snide comments by your sisters and mine, with strangers looking at me with disgust for her to call me a bad parent. I sure as hell didn’t get disowned by my family for a child to treat me as if I’m a monster for loving her.”

“Mom, I don’t think you’re a monster,” I began, my stomach knotting up so tightly I wanted to double over even as a bitter taste began to settle over the back of my tongue as she ignored me and kept ranting.

“How dare we? How dare we? You are my baby and I’ll be damned if I let some boy come in here and take you from me. I sure as hell won’t stand here and have you acting as if we abused you. I am your mother. My job is to keep you safe, just because I didn’t push you out of my vagina doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to try and protect you.”  She stopped, wiping tears from her face angrily and this time she let my dad pull her into an embrace.

I wrapped my arms around myself tightly as I looked at them, trying my best not to cry. I had messed up, I knew I had but at the same time, it still hurt. It was like, I don’t know. Everything just wasn’t making sense.

“I know you guys love me, I just… it’s, it’s a shock. It’s like, nothing is making sense. I don’t understand why you didn’t take him when you took me, I don’t understand why you didn’t just wait for the adoption to go through properly, I just, I want the truth. I feel like, lately everyone’s keeping things from me and I just want the truth.”

My words were no longer coming out smoothly and clearly, my enunciation was shot to hell and the fact that I was trying not to cry didn’t help matters much.

My father finally nodded, his lawyer face on and impassive as he released my mother to head for the dining room with a quiet fine. I glanced at my mom to see what was going on but she didn’t say anything, just hugged herself with one hand as she pressed her right hand over her eyes.

“You want the truth, Judi? Come here.” I took a hesitant step forward moving until I was just outside of the dining room and could watch him.

I was afraid, not afraid of my father, not exactly, but his tone making it clear that whatever was about to happen was not going to make everything perfect again. My father had managed to get rid of his accent years ago. Unlike his siblings he didn’t slip into it as easily as they did and yet, that whole sentence had been accented. He was opening a box and pulling out files and everything in me was saying I wouldn’t like what I was about to see but I couldn’t walk away now.