Status Update & cut Scene

Kinda want to bump the previous post down since it continues to bother my soul, lol, and I'm trying to move past that.

So, updates.

Non-Writing Related
Heading into the final stretch for school, found out today I got my internship! *brap brap* here's hoping they hire me afterwards and I don't have to struggle at searching for a job as I usually do.

Of course, this means that all of my major projects are coming to a head since the internship starts in April but I'm hoping to figure out a system that will work better than the one I currently have, which hasn't been working out that well when it comes to writing regularly, lol.


Um, I've decided to start running since I went from playing some sort of sport all through highschool and elementary school and even the first three/four years of college to doing nothing at all and I'm beginning to feel the effects. had to run five minutes to my bus stop and almost passed out once I got on, lmao, and I intend on jumping up in Caribana this year which means I need to get my stamina up and my body looking trim, lol.

EDITING
I have decided to go over When Doves Cry again, do a quick clean up and repost it on valentchamber and get a bit more feedback there and then depending, I think I'm going to do a hardcore rewrite, edit etc. since my writing style has changed a bit and either try to get it published or self-publish it.

I got stuck with IWOAK (sorta) and I thought if I can't get anything done on my current WIP I should start being productive in other ways.

Anyway, while I was going through my WDC notes I found a post-it about this song. I can't believe I forgot about it because it became Adrian's unofficial theme song when it came to Ellie, lol. This song stayed on repeat along with Connect the Dots by the same artist. The song is Lullaby by The Spill Canvas just incase grooveshark doesn't work.

Lullaby by The Spill Canvas on Grooveshark

More below the jump and a cut scene from IWOAK 32.
Scroll to the bottom until you see the blue text if you just want to read the cut scene, lol.



WRITING


CHOICES
Chapter three is going alright, hoping to update that sometime this month. It won't be AJ's POV on what happened in chapter 32 since I want it to follow some sort of order but I think you guys will like the scene that pops up next if I don't run into issues.

IWOAK 
This story, ugh, I don't know. I'm so close to the end but everything so hard to write even though I know exactly what's supposed to happen. Not just for chapter 33 but the rest of the story, it's beyond frustrating.

For 33 I want to showcase her parents' reasons for doing what they've done but every time I try to start it comes out stilted and the dialogue is horrible. I was thinking about having it start with her talking to the girls and then showing the discussion through flashbacks and see if that works smoother but it's still not going as planned.


FFYT [Missy's story]
I know you guys won't be reading it for a while, but figured I'd give you a heads up that it is moving along smoothly. I randomly sketched out a flashback scene between Missy and Vince and I was wondering if you guys want to see the rise and fall of their original friendship as well as what's going on with them now that they're grown/in university?

I'm also toying with the idea of writing from both of their POVs since this should be a more straight forward story and after reading over parts of WDC I think it's nice to be able to see what the guy's thinking. What do you guys think?


Alright, so this scene was one of the contenders for the opening of IWOAK32 but it just wasn't working for me; I couldn't get past a certain spot and I couldn't get it to flow smoothly into her interactions with her brother so I decided to just start over with her and AJ at the school. I have quite a few variations on their talk as well which I might post a little later since some of them are quite nice. So here's a look at AJ and her at her grandmas' house.

Cut scene:


“Are you serious? Are you really serious right now?” I asked, my hands flying even as my breath was coming so hard and so fast I was going light-headed. My cousin stared at me defiantly, his arms wrapped protectively around his bulging gym bag.
A bag that had been almost pancake flat when he had entered my grandmother’s house earlier today. I could feel AJ shifting behind me but I ignored him, all of my frustration and anger focused on Chris.
“I don’t know what your problem is, but I have places to go. Move.” I shook my head, side stepping in front of him again as he tried to walk around me. I had spent my whole weekend sobbing, missed the first snow fall and had arrived at my grandmother’s to help with the shoveling only to learn that AJ had been stopping by almost every week day since our break to help around the house.
I was not in a good mood.
“Today is not the day, Chris. Open your bag. Don’t shake your head at me. Open the bag.” He took a step back, making a face even as his eyes looked around desperately for a way to escape. Finding none, he sneered, and took a step towards me.
“I know you’re deaf and quite clearly dumb, so let me say this a bit slower so you can read my lips. Move from in fronta me.”
My already tightly strung nerves snapped and I saw red, AJ’s hand on my arm stopping me from going for my cousin even as he pulled me back and went for Chris himself.
“Careful of the bag,” I said, my voice tight as AJ bodied my cousin, getting the upper hand and removing the bag from him and handing it to me. I took it quickly, my chest and stomach so tense and tight that it hurt.
I watched as AJ got Chris up against the wall, his forearm pressing into his throat as my cousin swore rapidly. I barely heard the things he called me as I opened up his bag, my heart clenching as I reached in with shaking hands and pulled out a chunky bundle that was heavily wrapped in his gym clothes.
I unwrapped it and tears of pure rage ricked my eyes as I stared at the pair of Satsuma Lion Dog Figurines that Mama Maki had received as an engagement gift before she had moved to Canada. Chris’s mother and her daughter had gotten it, and a bunch of other things, appraised a few years ago ‘just because’ and the set had been worth just under $2000, and that was if they had chosen to sell it straight to an antiquities shop instead of trying to put it up for auction.
Swiping furiously at my eyes I placed the figures gently on the floor beside me and reached in again, shaking my head as I pulled out what felt to be a tea cup. Opening the bag a little further I could see a bunch of individually wrapped little bundles along with a few bigger pieces that I figured were the rest of the 20 piece set.
Mama Maki had given my grandmother the tea set as a sign of friendship after my grandma had given her a pretty jade bracelet. It was another Satsuma piece that could go from anywhere between $300 to $500 dollars in auction. If he had taken these then I would bet money that somewhere in the bottom of the bag was the custom gold and pearl bracelet my grandma had gotten made once she had learned of the real worth of the set.
 “God, I can’t believe you, Chris,” I said as I pulled out said bracelet along with a fancy looking DVD player and a little jewelry box that I knew, without a doubt, held my grandfather’s wedding bands.
“Shut up! You’re such a self-righteous little bitch. You think you’re better than me, but you’re not.”
I stood up, my right hand tightening around the little ring box so tight it was digging into my flesh.
“I would never steal from our grandmas. And that doesn’t make me better than you, it just shows how disgusting you are.”
“Listen you stupid cu-” The rest of his sentence turned into a strangled choking noise as AJ tightened his grip and a part of me was tempted to just let AJ deal with it.
I closed my eyes, taking a few deep breath and forcing myself to relax. I could deal with this.
“AJ let him go.” There was a moment where I thought AJ wasn’t going to do as I asked but he did, removing his hand and taking a step back slightly giving Chris room enough to recover.
“Chris, why?”
“Because I’m fucked if I don’t! You won’t help me so I have to help myself, Judi,” he spat out, still breathing heavy although now he could stand up relatively straight. “I owe these dudes tens of thousands and that’s not including interest. My life is at stake and you know no one else can help me the way you can but you rather play at being the pretty fucking princess. They’re going to kill me and this is the only way I know how to deal with it without disappointing my mother again.”
He sounded on the verge of tears and I would’ve felt bad for him except I knew bullshit when I heard it.
“And if you’re parents found out they’d ship you off to Jamaica to Uncle Earl who thinks once your too big for a spanking, haul out the bat and start swinging,” I said easily quoting Uncle Earl who had come down to Canada and had come to Canada the first time Chris had fucked up.
He stared at me, jaw tight but didn’t acknowledge or deny what I had said.
“They said if they don’t get at least the interest by next weekend they’re cutting of my hand. They don’t play Judi.”
“Then you shouldn’t have played with them.” AJ said coldly and I jumped, shooting him a look although I didn’t disagree with him. I was more surprised that I had forgotten he was there.
“How much is interest?”
Chris perked up a bit, and I could see the hope in his eyes.
“It’s 20% give or take a month, I’m like, three months behind.” He was lying, I could tell but I didn’t know about what exactly. He seemed to think I was weakening because he tried to press his advantage.
“I know you probably won’t have that kind of money, but even if I just sold Maki’s things, it could cover a portion of it and it’s not like she’s really family, you know?”
I don’t know what happened. One moment I was staring at him from a distance and the next I was trying to wrap my hands around his throat because how dare he disrespect Mama Maki like that. First and foremost, unless you were grandma you did not call her Maki, and secondly, not really family?
That woman had spent just as much time, money, and love on the little shit as my grandmother, and he had the nerve to say that? He was a dead man.





Comments

  1. Congrats on the internship first of all, they're hard to get so you made a great impression. Good luck.
    The contender was a good read on it's own and i think i get why it didn't make the cut, AJ's still kind of a hero in that scene.
    As for IWOAK chap 33 I think the flashbacks will work, sort of like you've done in the current chap 32, there's a flow that you're able to create easily moving back and forth. That way it still lingers on the decision making from both Judi's and her parents side (just an idea). The same goes for FFYT, we've only had interaction with Missy and Vince as they relate to Judi and AJ, we don't really know them on their own level so it'd be great to see how it came about. I'd vote for both POV's too, getting inside of Vince;s head should be entertaining.
    Congrats again.
    Stretch19

    ReplyDelete
  2. Congrats on everything that is really Great news. Good luck with everything, you will do great.

    This was a good, would have been hard to flow into what you wrote since things seemed to move a head a little but still every good.

    LadyLuckAJ

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks! I'm lucky since my professors really helped with the internship process.

    I figured out parts of chapter thirty three and I do think flashbacks will be used since there are scenes I feel need to be put in, but it'll mess with the timeline/flow if they're thrown in on their own.

    And I'm definitely aiming to do both POVs for the characters and flashbacks for FFYT, Vince isn't AJ and there's no need to keep his thoughts private, and like you said it would be pretty entertaining.

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